I was talking to Murphy about bacon and breakdowns. We both really like these things. I started to explain Earth Crisis and the SxE moshcore movements in the Hardcore scene. I didn't really get any further than explaining what Vegan was. A lot of Hardcore are Straightedge and Vegan for those who don't know. Anyway, Murphy was like "What the crap? Choose not to eat meat? Not Even Honey? What the hell is wrong with these people?" Then he told that if I ever became vegan he would bite off my face and eat my liver. I believe him too. He is one serious hound.
Murphy actually understands this quite well. He doesn't understand is why you don't understand Misfits Awareness Month. Stop disappointing this fucking hound dog with your non-misfits knowing bullshit. it's making him sad.
They wrote a song about Murphy in 1983. That's like 23 years before he was born. Danzig fucking knew he was coming, and wrote this song called hellhound. This was before Danzig became a cat litter buying brick thrower.
Got a hellhound dog That hellhound's gonna rip your face off Got a hellhound dog That hellhound's gonna tear right through Got a hellhound born A hellhound born to the pack Got a hellhound dog And I know that I might be dead Those who seek it out Those who stand a few Hell, hell of Satan's pack We are born of hate Both feet into Hell Take another step Towards the bleeding light Those who seek it out Those who stand a few We are a part of it Got a hellhound dog That hellhound's gonna rip your face off Got a hellhound dog That hellhound's gonna tear right through Got a hellhound born A hellhound born to the pack Got a hellhound dog That hellhound's gonna rip your face off Got a hellhound dog That hellhound's gonna rip your face off Got a hellhound dog Got a hellhound born
Murphy actually understands this pretty well. However, I don't understand how one animal can stretch so many times in such a short span of time. This morning it was six stretches between upstairs and his food. 3 times in the bedroom, 1 at the top of the stairs, 1 at the bottom of the stairs and 1 in the kitchen. Usually there are a few more thrown in there.
Murphy is a sneaky son of a bitch that unfortunately will never get to feel real freedom to run wherever he wants. This is because when he catches the sent of some bitch assed cat/squirrel/hot chick/cow/raccoon... he takes off and doesn't give a hell ass crap who is calling him and what you could be offering. A treat? He is chasing the best treat! A walk? He's free bitch. An entire tray of bacon? Bacon? oh yeah, he's about to get something better than bacon. It is because of the scent drivenness that he stays on a leash or a tie up when he is not fenced in. They say this is typical in beagles and hounds, but I think Murphy has a complete disregard for authority because he a bad ass that can't be held down by rules. Anyway, Murphy does not understand tie ups.
Tie him up and within minutes he has tangled his cord or has wrapped it around something or someone and only has 1 foot of slack. He is a good dog and will just sit there and look sad until someone fixes it. Sometimes he starts walking and moving like he trying to get untangles, like he actually know what's going, but no. It just gets worse.
Murphy may not understand the tie up, but he doesn't really care about it. He is an awesome hound who ultimately wants to hang out and get his belly rubbed by everyone. He might also want to sneak over to the food and try to eat it, but that is because everything is delicious. Murphy still gives zero fucks.
"I'm color blind you ass hat. However, I would like to step in your trays, sit on your tarps and rub on your freshly painted walls. What do you mean no? Fuck this. I'm going to take a nap. chumps." - Murphy
Murphy does not understand printers. His feelings on the matter are strong, and they border on straight up hate. He really gets worked up over goddamned printers.
He's like this, "How the fuck can we make a phone order pizza, but the human race in all of it's wisdom can't make a good printer. Is all printer technology from 1988? I don't even know what fucking 1988 is? I was born 5 years ago, and it's 2011! Printers are garbage. Where is my goose? I want rip some stuffing out of something. Goddamned stupid fucking pieces of wasting everyone's time. And where is my pizza?"
He does love a dot matrix printer though. Weird ass dog.
Murphy fucking loves Judas Priest. He's always trying to rock out to British Steel or Screaming for Vengeance. I was trying to explain to him that there are people out there that don't love Judas Priest, and possibly people that have never even heard Judas Priest. He insists that "the combination of bad assed riffery and firey vocals make them one of best bands to ever grace this fine planet." I told that may be true, but it doesn't mean everyone loves them. He then told me that I had another thing coming and took a crap in the backyard.
Don't talk smack about Judas Priest or Murphy will bite you in the nards and pee in your hat.
